It Wasn't Quite the Hospital Stay I Had Been Planning For...

I had already been dreaming of the day I would deliver our precious little one. I had already planned on my hospital stay. I was going to wear a really pretty labor gown from Labor Looks. Stay the full three days in the hospital for recovery to be waited on and have my baby brought to me while I laid in bed without having to do dishes or laundry. I was also, weirdly, looking forward to the meals those three days. Breakfast in bed, lunch in bed and dinner in bed....what could be better? I was dreaming of my three day hospital bed too. Have I mentioned that I love hospital beds. Those air mattress that move into all kinds of comfy positions.

Well yesterday I had my hospital stay. I had to wake up really early. Didn't sleep well. Was hungry but sick feeling all at the same time. You know like when you have to catch an early plane for a vacation and that night before you don't sleep well and when you get to the airport your body isn't quite adjusted to being up that early and you are starving, but would not normally eat that early so you feel kind of sick? Well that was how I was feeling, but I wasn't going anywhere fabulous to have it all worth it.

Instead, my hospital stay was all of five hours. NO MEAL provided and I wore a standard hospital gown. And I cried a lot. BUT a beautiful thing took place that made the visit worthwhile, two of my sweet nurses pulled up chairs and sat right down by my bed with me and my sweet husband and cried with me too. They didn't rush me into surgery....they just let me cry and we all needed kleenex. And they shared their own personal stories. And my OR nurse cried all the way to the operating room with me.

She put on some music as soon as we got in there....New Soul by Yael Naim. She asked if I liked this music and I told her it was one of my favorite songs. She did good. And then Dr. King took my hand and held it and I was going to tell him that we listened to classical the last time he did my c-section, but then I closed my eyes and was out while he was still holding my hand. Wonderful people.

So it wasn't the hospital stay I had been dreaming of....but the hospital staff made it special and made me feel special. And that is what matters right now. Recovery is going well...looking forward to feeling wonderful myself soon. You are all making me feel special too. I received a Willow Tree "Angel of Healing" in the mail yesterday from a friend I've never personally met and meals are coming this week. I said yes to those to help take care of Dave too. He doesn't need all the burden of taking care of me, the kids and meal planning this week.

Looking forward to regular blogging too about family, projects and loving my family....hopefully that will be back soon. Thanks for being willing to hang in there with me until then.

IT REALLY IS A SIGN....

I am still sad. Proof.......purchased at the grocery store on Saturday:

Caramel Apple Dip, Marshmallow Creme & Cream Cheese (full fat) fruit dip, Fruit Loops, Pop Tarts, Maraschino Cherries, Brownie Mix, Blueberry Muffin Mix, Belgian Waffle Mix, 2 Bags of Chips and Piggies & Pancakes on a Stick. Plus yesterday morning I had a Starbucks hot chocolate and a Cream Horn from ButterCream Bakery again.

Dave really should have taken one look in our cart and thought somethings just not right with his wifey. I just kept thinking....well if I am going to be sad, at least my stomach will be happy. And let me tell you, I am looking forward to eating all of the above this week while recovering after my procedure which is scheduled for this morning at 7:30 am. Please pray. I hope everything goes OK.

Dave is being so sweet trying to protect me from seeing pregnant bellies. For some reason that is not bothering me as much as seeing infant car seats. Seeing those make me really sad. Honestly, I think it was because I was looking forward more to the baby than the pregnancy. I think seeing pregnant bellies is making Dave sad because he was looking forward to watching my body grow in amazement. But this too shall pass.....and while it is passing, I will be eating yummy, sugary, sweet food. That is, if I'm not puking all day from the anesthesia!

SMILE.

Out of the mouth of babes.....they usually make us smile and these sure did.

From Blake: Looking at our dining room table overflowing with cards, flowers and candy in astonishment...."We sure did get some nice things this last week!"

From Kaia: "Mommy, maybe this baby was growing with another disability and even though Heavenly Father knew you and daddy would be ok with that, He decided that he didn't want you to have that burden again."

And the one that made me laugh out loud and my sweet sister knew I would love it.....

From my 8 year old nephew Jack to my sister Jill: "Mommy, it is so sad that Auntie April's baby was cancelled."

'Cancelled'.....I said....like postponed. That is exactly what happened. I love when kids come up with their own interpretation. It reminds me of a story I need to share sometime about Kaia learning about the birds and the bees and referring to sex as "colliding"!

And from an adult male friend, who is a pharmacist and I value his opinion immensely, who had me rolling in laughter Friday evening.....

Him: "I am so glad you are choosing to have a D&C. How can you go wrong with something that has the same name as scripture? Maybe you could ask for a Pearl of Great Price while they are at it?"

Me: "If the Pearl of Great Price is a hernia repair....I'll totally go for it!" Why didn't you speak up when I asked for advice?"

Him: "Well since I don't have a cervix or uterus I figured I probably didn't have a right to chime in!"

FINDING PEACE.

Again, you all came to my rescue. You shared personal experiences with me and gave me wonderful advice....here on my blog, on facebook and through private messages and emails. I appreciated each experience and read with real intent. Thank you. I have found peace and called my doctor to schedule a D&C. They are trying to schedule it for Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I will keep you posted.

Throughout the weekend I will hold dear your beautiful messages, keep smelling the flowers dotting my dining room table and I will be eating a whole box of RETRO CANDY delivered to my doorstep this afternoon. Razzles, Fun Dips, Zotz, Boston Baked Beans, Lemon Heads, Button Candy, Gold Nugget bubble gum, Chiclets, Candy Cigarettes....oh it is overflowing and I keep slapping my kids hands away. Actually I gave them the toy top and the wax lips that also came in the box right away. And, don't worry....I will share my least favorites with them. I mean I can be selfish at this time....right?

I am really starting to feel more like myself again and as a family, we are truly finding peace. In fact, I am finding comfort now in comforting those that still are congratulating me on the pregnancy. It feels good to be the strong one right now. Because I know, that that might change on a daily basis.

CARING WORDS and NEED SOME ADVICE.

First I want to thank you all. Every single one of you. I wish I had the time and emotional strength to personally thank each of you with a returned note, but know this, each of you have said EXACTLY the right thing. No one has said anything that HASN'T helped in our continued healing process.

Each day is getting easier. And each day brings a new desire and a stronger WANT for another baby. My heart aches as I have spent so much time thinking of others who have lost, as we have, or even harder yet are still struggling to become pregnant. Know that I am thinking of you at this time and praying for peace and comfort for you too.

I wanted to share just SOME of the special words we have received these past couple of days. I think often in difficult times of grieving and loss we aren't quite sure what to say. But again, I want you ALL to know....you all said the right things. I was so dreading the "natural selection" thought on miscarriage. I already know this and it does not really help ease the pain. And I was so glad that it wasn't mentioned in the sweet notes of encouragement. The "I'm sorry's"....or "I know your pain".....or the following I am going to share really mean so much more.

Here are again, just a FEW, that have meant so much to us and have brought me tears of gladness and comfort....(I am keeping all anonymous)

"I've never experienced something like this myself so I'm not going to try and come up with something wise or clever to say. Just know that I have grown to care about your entire family over the years and I am always a phone call away. Hang in there my friend and tell April I'm thinking of her as well." (This was a personal note to Dave and I was so grateful for it. The dads are usually not as equally rallied around during these difficult times. This made Dave feel very special.)

"I just wanted to say thank you for bravely sharing your lives with so many people. Although, we do not spend time together, I feel like I know you so well. It hurts to see the pain you are suffering now. I just wanted you to know that your lives truly are an inspiration to me. Your family is an inspiration to both me & J. Your stories, your trials, your good & bad times all have an impact on the lives of others. I believe you were meant to share your lives with others and inspire us to love a little more and remember what family is all about. I know this might sound strange, but I just really felt compelled to tell you this." (addressed to both Dave and I from an old friend from school. I sometimes wonder if I share too much publicly, but I truly believe we have so much to learn from each other if we are open and honest about our private lives. Thank you for validating this....it is a bit scary to post our loss and the feelings associated with it, but knowing others have experienced it or willing to support us through it means so much. I couldn't imagine doing this alone.)

"This is one of those times where I have no idea what to say so I am just going to write my feelings. I was very sad to hear that news. I hate that things like this happen to such good people. This is one of those times when I cannot comprehend God's plan, but I do know that he has a plan and is watching over you. My personal feeling is that whatever spirits you are supposed to have as part of your family unit will come to you in time. You guys are some of my most cherished friends, and I honestly cry when you cry, and share joy when you are joyful. I dont expect anything I say will help in your pain, but I hope you feel a small bit of comfort in knowing that I am praying for your family. It is amazing how many friends you guys have, that is a tribute to the type of people you are. Please know that if there is ANYTHING I can do for you, I will do it." (I bawled through this one....it is humbling to know people are praying for our family and love us and cry with us...and, what you wrote did help with our pain and brought us comfort...as did all the notes, both long and short. We are truly grateful for each of our friends.)

"I've been praying for your family all weekend and words just can't express how sorry I am that this happened to you and your husband and kids. I know the pain too well to have a loss like that. It is one that can really only heal with time and thru relying on your family and friends and the Lord. I love you guys so much." (again knowing friends have taken time from their busy lives to pray for our little family is so humbling and touching and every time I read it from somebody it makes me cry....a healing cry.)

"I’ve been thinking about you this week. I am so sorry to hear about the pregnancy. I lost my first pregnancy at exactly the same time. April, I am truly so so sorry! All my love and prayers go out to you and your family. I know too keenly this kind of heartbreak. Everyone experiences it differently, but just know that I am here if you need any support. I wish I lived closer so that I could bring over a meal, some hot chocolate, and a comfortable movie. E-mail me if you need to. And you can always call (even though we’ve never actually spoken, I feel like you are a dear friend)." (And, then she gave me her cell phone number. This one made me jump for joy and made me and Dave giggle a bit through our tears. I do consider her a dear friend too, but someone I have only communicated over the internet with and have on so many occasions wished I had her cell phone number to just give her a call. Dave has even suggested I ask for her cell phone number on different occasions just so we could talk. Know that I will be calling you....very soon!)

From those of you that have experienced this pain, I can't begin to tell you how much the one line "I know this pain" means to me and to those who honestly shared "I don't know this pain, but know how sorry I am" means so much too. And, even the simplest "I'm sorry" was so comforting.

One last one I want to share was an email I received this morning.....from another internet friend. I am sharing this one because she perfectly explains, in her own experience, exactly what happened to our baby too.

"I had the exact same thing happen to me right before Christmas….. found out we were expecting on November 16th, spent the next three weeks completely in love with our little Pea, hurting boobs, expanding waist, enjoying eating snacks every 20 minutes when I felt pukey, all of it. We were so ecstatic we couldn’t contain ourselves…..then went in for our ultrasound and more blood work and nothing but the sac and fetal pole, no heartbeat and very strong indications that there were genetic/chromosomal issues. I had to have a D&C...and deal, for the next two weeks, with the same pregnancy symptoms until my body realized that it was gone…..Please know that my telling you what I went through is NOT to take away in any way from what you are going through….I only tell you so that you know you are not alone…..I hope you can feel all of the love, prayers and hugs coming your way……my wish and prayers for you are hope, faith and love…..and just know you are not alone and there are others out there crying with you for your loss…." (I am finding great comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing your story and sweet thoughts of love and prayer.)

So now my question to you, and it is a personal one, but I need advice. I have a choice to make right now......wait out (up to 3 weeks) to miscarry or move forward with a D&C. I really don't know what to do right now. My head says "wait to miscarry" and I thought my heart would too, but my heart wants to move on sooner than later....I think. Any thoughts from women that have experienced this would be wonderful right now. You all have helped so much so far. I really do appreciate your thoughts.

LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING.

What a sweet thing my hubby did for me yesterday....updating the blog. Such sweet and very honest words.

I can't begin to tell you how comforting the sweet notes of love and encouragement are. As well as the visits, the flowers, the chocolates, the cards, the desserts....all are so much needed at this time and so appreciated by our family. Thank you for loving us.

It is pouring down rain right now. I think our sweet baby is crying with us. I promise, little one, we will give you another chance to come be with our family...very very soon. Oh how badly we want you.

UPDATE.

10 weeks. No heartbeat. Heartbroken.

Thank you for thinking of my bride today. It pains me to see her weep, but she is strong and we will not give up hope for another addition to our family.

Dave

He's Been Growing It Out For Months Now...

...and waiting patiently for February 26th. Talking about it weekly.

The only reason he was growing it out.

This hair has been driving Dave and I crazy.

Constant bed head.

Poufy and curling all around his neck.

What has he been waiting for.....

crazy hair day!

The Principal said his was the best she had seen so far when we were walking in.

He was so proud!

THANK YOU, DESIGN MOM!

What a fun surprise to come home this afternoon to. I was part of Design Mom's pregnancy posts this Wednesday. She linked to our video announcing our pregnancy to our children. I responded to Gabby's email with:

"Gabby, I got chills. Thank you so much!!! I love everything about labor & delivery. What an honor to be part of your special Wednesdays! "

As Dave and I were sitting in the waiting room this morning for our first ob appointment I picked up the March issue of Better Homes & Garden and shared with Dave Gabby's exciting post about picking up that same issue for her reading material for her plane ride and turning the page in the Fresh section to see her picture.

Checking my daily blog reads today and seeing my link on her blog felt the exact same way!! What an exciting ending to a kind of bummer of a morning.

We got a sneak peak of the baby today. Blood work was ordered. The baby is only measuring 6 weeks not 9 weeks. There is a chance I could only be 6 weeks pregnant actually (yes, we kept a calendar of our "knowing" each other since I don't have a great history of regular menstrual cycles) so we are keeping our fingers crossed that blood work over the next couple of days comes back showing progression. If it does, that will be great. But it will mean that I have to repeat weeks 7, 8 and 9. Not fun. Especially since I thought I was close to being done with the first trimester. Instead, I'm only half way through....and spreading way too fast to only be 6 weeks pregnant...uuugh. I'll need to button my jeans back up and keep sucking in. Too soon to be showing! Ha! Prayers would be great right now for really being six weeks pregnant with a healthy baby growing instead of nine weeks with a baby not growing.

xo,

april

MORE ON BLAKE...

Yesterday I went to pick up Blake from school. Before I could even get his hand in mine to walk away from his classroom, he blurted out...very exictedly, "So....did you find IT?"

"Find what?" I said.

Smiling so big he repeated, "did you find IT?" The smirk told me he had 'got' me. I quickly went through the day in my head....searching for the 'IT'. "Oh, your blanket" I said realizing that I hadn't seen it all that day.

"Yes, did you find it?" he asked again. I replied with, "No, did you hide it from me?" He said ever so proudly, "Yes, I hid it from you this morning BEFORE you could hide it from me!"

I was out-smarted by a 7 year old. He giggled the whole way home and would not reveal his new hiding place. Just like I haven't revealed my hiding place. You see, Blake still sucks his thumb, but only if he has his blanket. We used to keep his blanket behind his pillows on his bed. But he would sneak it out at all different times throughout the day and then end up sucking his thumb most of the day. In order to have any chance of breaking the habit, I knew the blanket had to disappear during the day. So about a month ago, while he was in the bathtub in the morning, his blanket would 'disappear' to my secret hiding place until bedtime. It didn't work yesterday. And he was so proud of himself, he ended up revealing his secret hiding place. It was a good one!

Blake's Very Scary Story.

Written by Blake, age 7.

A Very Scary Story.

'It was a dark and stormy night. "Hey!" cried the kid. "What's that?" He saw a dinosaur t-rex. The t-rex cot up to him. The t-rex eat his arm and pands. He is stil uliv (alive). The t-rex ran into a wol. Scary story.'

Writing stories is Blake's least favorite thing to do. He has a hard time staying focused. I think this is the best he has done in terms of length and thought process. I was so excited for him. And, I laughed when I read that the t-rex ate his pants! That Blake is a funny boy.

He is all about giving wedgies right now too. And laughs hysterically when he succeeds. He is forever chasing around daddy and Kaia! Mommy's pregnant...she's off limits from wedgies. Lucky mommy.

9 WEEKS.

"Fetal Development: This is your last week of the embryonic period. Your placenta is developing well and your baby looks like a tiny human now - albeit a tiny human - approximately 13 - 17 mm or about 0.51 - 0.66 inches in length (about the size of a raspberry). At this point, he weighs approximately 1 - 1.5 grams (the weight of a paperclip).

While the internal reproductive organs have now become either testes for boys or ovaries for girls, there's nothing yet to tell you whether it's a boy or girl even if you look closely. The skeleton has begun to form as cartilage and bones take shape. The baby's intestine has begun to move out of the umbilical cord into the baby's abdomen and your baby is now taking his first few drinks - he's drinking amniotic fluid. Remember, a little of what you eat and drink ends up in the amniotic fluid so, it can end up in him. Reflex muscle movements continue and now your baby will move away if touched through the uterine wall. Other changes in your baby are the heart valve formation, the retina formation, and the tip of the nose becoming visible.

Maternal Changes: You're missing your second period this week. Your breasts may be fuller now than ever before and may feel very sensitive. Wearing a supportive bra can ease some of the tenderness. Your waistline may be growing and you may experience some heartburn and indigestion as your body adjusts to pregnancy hormones.

Ideas for Dad: Sex got you to this point so let's talk about it. Many women go through a change in their desires during the first trimester. Mom may feel so crummy with morning sickness that she won't even let you in the bedroom. (Don't take it personally). On the other hand, without the hassles and worries of birth control and with the surge of hormones, she may be a sexual maniac. In either case, she's normal. What about you? Dads can also experience a change. At this point, mom isn't showing (or isn't showing very much) but her breasts are expanding in a glorious way. The figure changes may be quite attractive to you, and you may feel like a 16-year old boy again. But, you may be worried about hurting the baby or doing something to disrupt the pregnancy. If you're worried about this Dad, talk to the doctor/midwife so you can alleviate your fears.

If mom isn't on the same wavelength you are, this can be tough. Be understanding and remember that her hormones can make her moods look like a yo-yo in perpetual motion. If you're both in the mood, enjoy it. If you're not, you can still be close/intimate without having intercourse. TALK ABOUT IT with her so you aren't playing guessing games. "

My Thoughts: It's nice to know the sex of the baby is determined. Can't wait to find out. That is probably the hardest thing to wait for right now. I just want to know! Funny the baby is a size of a raspberry. I have been craving fruit salad the last two days....pineapples, pears, blackberries, grapes, strawberries, plums, kiwi and raspberries. Had it Friday night with our dinner at the Frye's house and can't stop thinking about it since. Nothing in the maternal changes talks about my pooch getting bigger and my jeans getting tighter. Just ordered my first pair of maternity jeans (low banded) on the internet Saturday. Thought the low band would be great for the in-between period and the just-after period. They can't come soon enough. It doesn't help that prior to getting pregnant all my jeans were already tight. In the Ideas for Dads section....last week I was like a 16 year old with pimples and now this week he is like a 16 year old because my boobs are getting bigger. Sorry hunny, sex is like a bad word for me right now. It sounds too similar to sick. And, Dave keeps mentioning that this pregnancy sickness is for the birds. I'm pretty sure he has mentioned my moodiness too. Sorry again hunny.

We had a quiet weekend. I spent all day Saturday on the couch. Sun up to sun down. The sickest I've been so far. Managed to eat McDonald's and KFC though that day. My friend Lynnette brought me a cheeseburger and Dave ran out for dinner to get me mashed potatoes and gravy. The only two things that at least sounded decent. The funny thing is those are not two of my favorite places to eat normally.....EVER. Well maybe KFC cole slaw wins out from time to time but on a sick day....who'd of thought. I'm ready for that fruit salad today. Bring on those raspberries!

TECHNICALLY....

....there really should be triplets growing in my stomach....I mean uterus {funny story for another day...remind me to share}!

When Kaia was little {2 years old}, we were building our house and living with my parents. Kaia would lay in her bed and talk. My mom and I would ask her who she was talking to and she would say 'Jesus'. She did this often. I had forgotten about it, but my mom just reminded me of this very sweet memory.

Why triplets then you ask? One day, while building the house, after Kaia had 'talked' with Jesus several times, Dave and I casually mentioned that we might not have any more children. Kaia spoke up quickly with a little anxiety and said, "But what about brother, sister, baby and sweetie?" 5 kids I thought....no way!

We got brother next. In her perfect order. So that means sister, baby and sweetie better all be in this batch!

I keep trying to claim that 'sister' is Kaia, and maybe this will be 'baby and sweetie' but my mom keeps reminding me how adamant Kaia was back then that she was already born and that sister is another baby. I know I am definitely not up for two more pregnancies!

With that thought....happy Friday!

I DREAM OF....

....growing old with this man.

Really I do.

Like I dream of who will be pushing who

in a wheelchair for sunny day walks.

And who will be sneaking into who's bed in the nursing home

to cuddle every night.

I also dreamt last week....

that I delivered triplets.

But they looked more like newborn puppies

than newborn babies.

And, last night....

I dreamt I delivered a little baby boy.

Perfect newborn sized boy.

With the chubbiest cheeks I have EVER seen.

Seriously, they made me laugh out loud.

The delivery was a blur.

There were people in my room that were shocking to me.

Not people I would ever want in my delivery room.

But that baby boy I delivered in my dream last night....

Oh...I am in love this morning!

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

.....a B.L.T with avocado for the next 9 months.

I can feel it already.

I crave it in the morning.

Two other foods I crave....peanut butter and cream cheese.

Can't get enough of those items either.

And bring on the carbs.

Yesterday I felt great almost the whole day.

I also ate pretty much the whole day.

Scary.

No BLT w/avocado today though {at least for lunch}.

Going to Squeeze Inn for one of these.

Those are on my list as a favorite already too.

Although I add grilled onions now!

Must start walking or exercising.

5 Things I Like About You!

I have been the lucky recipient of some 'just because' gifts recently. I couldn't be more delighted. These surprises have made me feel so loved and have brought the biggest smile to my face. This weekend a girlfriend surprised me with another 'just because' gift. If she was a blogger, hint hint, I would be asking for a tutorial. It is handmade and just darling. A little 'This & That' notepad. Check it out!

Inside is stamped '5 things I like about YOU'...and on different sheets of the note pad is stamped 'sensitive', 'generous', 'honest', 'thoughtful' and 'creative' and I couldn't love it more! So sweet and so thoughtful. Thank you, Brandy.

Thank you to all my friends that have surprised me with happy mail and treats recently. Kami, Molly, April W. & Mandy....you are brightening my days! And, all my blogger friends, your comments mean the world to me. Thank You! Gosh, I feel like I just won a grammy or something!

8 WEEKS.

Each Monday marks a new week of my pregnancy. My most favorite pregnancy book I read when pregnant with Kaia was "Your Pregnancy Week by Week". I looked it up online last night. Here is what week 8 says.....

"Fetal Development: An ultrasound done at this stage should show a fluttering heartbeat. Elbows begin to form in the arms and fingers start to develop. The leg buds begin to show feet with tiny notches for the toes. The face continues to change as the ears, eyes and the tip of the nose appear. The intestines start to form in the umbilical cord. Teeth develop under the gums. The baby is about the length of two grains of rice.

Maternal Changes: Your uterus is the size of an orange now, and you may find your waistline expanding. If this is your first pregnancy, you're probably not showing. If it's not your first, you may have a "pooch" already. You will tend to show earlier in subsequent pregnancies since your muscles and ligaments aren't so tight. You may be feeling like a teenager if you find yourself with pimples and other skin problems. Don't fret ~ pregnancy causes an increase in oil secretions not to mention those rampant hormones! Your break-outs will go away either after the first trimester as your hormones level off or after delivery.

Ideas for Dad: When mom goes to her first prenatal appointment, you'll be doing yourself a huge favor by making every effort to go with her. Be an involved parent NOW! Ask the doctor/midwife questions and share in this adventure. Take mom out for a nice meal afterwards to celebrate and talk about the appointment."

My thoughts.....great, I already have oily skin and it might get worse. Nothing in the above paragraphs mention my boobs being so sore and tender that I could scream if someone bumps into them {except in the section titled 'multiples' which I did not copy}. My waistline isn't expanding, but my love handles are. Those are a little lower you know. I do already have a "pooch" but I'm pretty sure it is not from the tiny grain of rice and orange in there. It is excess fat I was hoping to lose before I got pregnant. Although, I am still fairly comfortable in my jeans. Buttoned and all. I do love the 'Ideas for Dad' part. They are a bit cheesy and make me laugh out loud. I did read the last part out loud to him last night though! And, I am fighting more sick time than not these last couple of days. I dry-heaved half of yesterday and was barely able to teach my Gospel Doctrine class. Nothing mentioned morning sickness in the above paragraphs. I hate morning, afternoon and night sickness. Although still grateful it isn't nearly half as bad as when I was pregnant with Blake.

So...there you have it. 8 weeks today!

To Ape.....Love, Dave

I love getting a card that mades me laugh out loud! Nothing mushy here on heart day {except for lots of hugs and kisses exchanged}. Just some good ol' fun. And let me tell you. As our bodies are aging and things are sagging and dropping, these cards are getting funnier and funnier for some reason!

Happy Heart Day!

SISTERLY LOVE.

If you watched the video carefully of when we told our children that we were having another baby, you will see the cautious excitement that Blake showed. Barely showed actually. He has been asking for a little baby brother or sister but when told, he got nervous and not only did I pick up on it, but so did his older sister. In fact, the next few days after announcing it to everyone, he kind of stopped talking about the baby.

I found Kaia in Blake's bed the next few mornings before school. Both of them cuddled up together in his twin bed. {I was hoping to catch that sweet moment with a photograph but I kept missing it.} Like they were holding on to the idea of just the two of them, and coming to terms that it wouldn't just be the two of them for much longer. They share a special relationship. I could hear them talking. I could hear Kaia comforting Blake and reassuring him that mommy would have enough love for all of her children. I heard her tell him that he would always be my baby just like she still felt like my baby even after he had come into our family. That a baby would be fun and exciting and that he shouldn't worry. They shouldn't worry. That becoming a family of five would be OK. It brought tears to my eyes. Still does thinking about those few precious days.

Blake came into my bed on Wednesday morning and I could tell he had let his guard down about adding a baby to the family. He said, "Mommy, even if the baby is a girl, will you teach me how to do EVERYTHING for the baby? I want to help with everything!" I smiled and pulled him close to me. Real close and became intoxicated with his smell, his soft skin, stealing kisses from his cheeks and forehead and thinking to myself that he would no longer be the baby of the family, but that he would always be my special baby boy.

Funky Vintage Kitchen's Article in Local Newspaper!

{images from J.L. Souza, Napa Register}

{no that is NOT a baby bump yet...just a little belly bump!}

I almost forgot to post the link to the Etsy article that was in our local newspaper this past Sunday. It made the front page! So exciting. Click here to read the entire article. My girlfriend, Katherine, is up first and I am in the second part of the article. Jennifer, the writer, did a great job. Sunday was a fun day for our family!